DO YOU READ MY BLOG?

I have not been blogging too regularly, but a few people recently have mentioned that they check in to see if I have posted. I never realized that because I rarely get any comments, except for faithful Cindy. I was assuming that no one was visiting my blog, so didn't feel too inspired about keeping it current. If you are, indeed, a reader of my blog, it would be terrific if you would leave a comment for me after you read the entry so I feel that it is worth the energy to continue to post photographs and musings. It's no fun writing for a non-audience. And I always enjoy hearing your reactions to what I have posted.

AFTER DEATH

"I'm not afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens!"
(Woody Allen)

My mother died at age 97 on May 25th, after four years of a steady decline. She had always declared that she never wanted to go into a nursing home, so I tried to honor that request by keeping her at home and taking care of her. It was not easy. Caregiving, as much as I loved my mom, was very difficult and exhausting for me.

Her days were filled with contemplation of dying. She would sometimes say, "I'm not ready to die yet." Then she would say, "Let me die!" I know it was a struggle for her to let go, and several times I told her it was OK -- that I would miss her greatly, but that I would be alright. I think her greatest difficulty was the idea of leaving me and those she loved, behind. And at one point she even said to me, "I thought dying would be easy -- that I would just close my eyes and drift off."

I had done alot of grieving over the past four years as I watched mom lose her vision and attempt to recover from a fall and fractured femur. Eventually I got to a point where I hoped she would have an easy death instead of having to endure total dependence and hours of lying in bed.

Old age is lonely. Visitors stop coming. Friends move on with their lives. There just isn't much room in busy schedules to visit a friend approaching the end of life. Mom didn't only need me; she needed to know others still cared about her too.

Her death was a release for both of us. I had been living in constant fear that she would have a stroke or fall and hit her head and wind up lingering in a vegetative state. I worried if this happened I wouldn't be able to care for her.

So many have sent cards and written emails of condolence for which I am deeply grateful. I have my moments of heartache which I take the time to acknowledge, but then I move forward. Life awaits.

PEONY

If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom. ~Terri Guillemets

My macro lens has been waiting for my Peach Sorbet Peony bushes to bloom. Finally, this week they opened in their tri-color glory. The pink in this extreme close-up reminds me of cotton-candy.

I love the streaks of red. This shot also picked up traces of the sticky peony juice. This variety does not harbor ants like so many others, so it is wonderful to cut and bring indoors without fear of bringing in ants.

I love this shot because it seems lit from within; the center almost looks like a flame.

The shade made this peony appear more purple than pink.

CAREGIVING

"I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance."

~ Pablo Casals

It was my intention to post this about a week ago, but when I went to publish it, the musings disappeared. Now I do not even recall the thoughts I wrote.

It seems a bit odd to me that many people refer to care-giving as caretaking. The whole essence of caring for someone who is no longer able to care for him or herself is an act of giving by the person doing it. Caretaking seems to imply a whole different attitude towards the emotional and physical energy invested in caring for someone.

DANDELIONS -- A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

" You cannot forget if you would those golden kisses all over the cheeks of the meadow, queerly called dandelions."
~Henry Ward Beecher

The dandelion has become a muse for my macro lens. Yesterday I wanted to try to capture just a couple or a single starburst of a dandelion going to seed. To my amazement, when I uploaded the photographs to my computer I discovered the rainbow iridescence. These were shot with the sun as a back light.

I used a blooming dandelion as a background which suggests the sun.

Comments are appreciated. It is always good to get feedback on my photographs.

AZALEA

"I decided that if I could paint that flower in a huge scale, you could not ignore its beauty."
~Georgia O'Keeffe

The azaleas are blooming, and they offer quite an inspiration for macro photography. I have spent much time up close and personal with my azalea blooms. The macro lens affords a passionate view of the delicacy of the azalea. For a full size view, click directly on the photograph.

I was focusing on the pistil and stamens in this shot. The short depth of field gave it a very ethereal look.

This is one of my favorite azalea shots, and I am considering entering this one in a competition. I was using back lighting from the sun in an attempt to get the pollen to sparkle. It worked! I was able to reproduce what my eye was seeing -- the stamens looked as if they had been dipped in silver. I posted this as my daily photo on the SmugMug site, and it was pushed to number 3 out of several hundred photos posted that day. All photographers comment, and the positive feedback determines the ranking.

I liked the way these two blooms were facing each other and the stamens and pistils were intertwined.

This shot really shows the pollen on the flower and the shafts of the stamens and pistil.

Taken from the outside of the bloom.

Deep side view.
Which one is your favorite and why? Leave a comment below.

EYE CANDY

The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration.
~ Claude Monet

My macro lens exerts a magnetic pull. My eye is hungry to look at nature magnified. I spent more time in my yard this afternoon with the azalea blooms and last year's hydrangea lace. I am so glad I did not prune the hydrangea bush last fall.

I shot this dried cluster of hydrangea with the sun as back-lighting. I really love the effect and the blue bokeh background.


My pink zalea bush blossoms have just opened. Ordinarily they do not open until May, but our warm April spell pushed the bloom early.

Another shot of the pink azalea. I pulled back to get more of the blossom and increase my depth of field.

I love the shadows of the stamens on the azalea petals.

More shadows and detail.

Tight macro. Focusing on the stamens.

Wider view of a sinlge hydrangea bloom showing the veins. I call this hydrangea lace!

A FLOWER FOR KRISTIE

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.
~ Cleveland Amory

Kristie, a calico, came to us in the fall of 1991. She was a stray who was hanging around the school playground where I taught. One cold, wet day the recess aides carried her into my library and said she needed a home. I took her home and found a family who was willing to adopt her. In the meantime my mom had fallen in love with her and wanted to keep her, so she never left. Kristie was always really my mom's cat. She would have been 19 in June which made her the cat we'd had the longest of any. She was always shy and did not like to be picked up. However, she loved attention and sat on mom's lap by the hour. She was also very vocal and talked alot.

I have had cats since 1972, and Kristie is the last one to leave. These pictures were taken recently when she was still thriving. The end came quickly. She suddenly started losing more weight. Her appetite dwindled, and one evening a few days ago I saw her walk into a chair leg. I then noticed that her pupils were dilated and did not respond to light. It took me a few days to get up the courage to take her to the vet who affirmed that Kristie was blind and that her health was failing.

She was gently ushered into a sleep while I held her in my arms. Goodbye Kristie. Godspeed! Thank you for gracing our lives and home for so many years. Here are Spring blooms that celebrate rebirth -- just as your soul will fly free.

MORE MACRO

Photographers deal in things which are continually vanishing and when they have vanished there is no contrivance on earth which can make them come back again.
~Henri Cartier-Bresson

I had some ideas to try to improve my macro images, so I was eager to get outside and shoot. After doing a bit of web surfing last evening, I decided to try a different f-stop and utilize the on camera flash. I also opted to lie on the ground instead of using my tripod. While a tripod is almost necessary for quality macro images, I tend to find it unwieldy. At times, it actually prevents me from placing my camera exactly where I want it.

Remember if you would like to see the images full size you can click directly on top of the photograph.

The little yellow flowers that carpet the ground are now blooming. They are Marsh Marigold. They like damp areas, and are often found near streams.


Another Marsh Marigold. The glistening on the petals was the sunlight reflecting.

Blossoms from my Weeping Cherry tree. This is not a macro -- I shot this with my 100-300mm zoom lens.

Post processing of a Weeping Cherry image to make it more dramatic. I increased the color balance, contrast, and saturation to get this effect. (zoom lens)

These blooms were on a tree in my neighbor's yard. From my research it appears that this is a Malus Sugar Tyme Crabapple. The blossoms are exquisite! This was also taken with my zoom lens.

This is an emerging stalk from my Peach Sorbet peony plant. (macro)

Just a Dandelion -- I was amazed to see how pretty a Dandelion is when studied close-up. I never realized the stamens were curliques. (macro)

I decided to break off a branch of Weeping Cherry blossoms to put on the ground, so I could lie down to photograph it. I got several nice macro shots before Hannah walked over and stole it right out from underneath my camera! Enough is enough -- she wanted me to play with her!

Another macro of a Weeping Cherry blossom.

Side view.

MACRO MADNESS

“You don’t take a photograph, you make it.”
Ansel Adams

I bought myself a 100mm f2.8 macro lens because I love doing close-up photography. Up to this point I had been using a set of close-up lenses with moderate success. A macro lens is much better but very difficult to handle. The extreme proximity of the lens to the subject magnifies every little movement, so a tripod or a very steady hand is needed. There is a difference, however, in blur due to lens motion as opposed to a short depth of field. Many photographers purposely go for a short depth of field.

I spent much time outdoors this afternoon with my macro lens -- going mad in several respects. Experiencing frustration with not getting the images I wanted, and also going mad with joy as I embraced the challenge of macro photography. Here are a few I kept from today's madness.

forsythia

weeping cherry blossom

moss

unidentified

Here is an early Sedum shoot. I was trying to capture the rain drop and maintain some reasonable depth of field.

FIRST DAY OF SPRING

"An optimist is the human personification of spring."
(Susan J. Bissonette)

These little yellow flowers eventually flower profusely, making the woods look like they are carpeted in sunshine. I do not know the name of this flower. Leave a comment if you can identify it.

Trees are beginning to bud, and this one also had a wonderful scent.

I think this is a magnolia tree. It was gorgeous. It almost looked like snow was on the branches, and here and there were blossoms which had opened.

This is a macro of the blossoms on my Japonica bush outside my kitchen window. The scent is very sweet and attracts lots of bees. I just got this 100mm f2.8 macro lens and have been having lots of fun with it. It's challenging to use, and I seem to throw away more photos than I save.

Here is one bee on the Japonica caught with my macro lens.

A certain harbinger of spring -- crocus!

Mallard pilates.

Canada goose. I was thrilled with the sharp focus. I shot this one from my car!